Runescape thinks its players are fat!

Runescape thinks its players are fat! Picture proof provided!

Runescape stats signatures

Well I was looking for some RS sigs and found some cool sigs that will automatically update your stats.

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Runescape Bits and Bytes

RsSig.eu -Dynamic Forum Signatures For Runescape

MI vs RSD

The blog looks boring with all the text and no pictures so here is an interesting old Runescape Classic Video of the Malicious Intent clan war versus Runescape Dinasty.

New state of RS after Dec 2007

On December 2007 Jagex announced their anti-RWT (Real World trading) updates which have drastically changed the way RS is now played. Trade restrictions and the Grand Exchange have limited the exchange of items between players. The Wilderness as a player killing area was also removed. Stake duels are still possible but very limited.

Of course, like many other Runescapers, I was not happy about these updates. I will be leaving members for a while because of my dissatisfaction with recent changes.

During the time when the changes were announced, there was mass hysteria in the various fan forums and, predictably, the RS official forums. At the time I noticed various trends of the replies of players who supported the updates. Here are my observations of the various RSOF poster types:

We have all read the rants about people who complain excessively each time there is an update. What about other types of posters though? Let's categorize them.

Daddy Knows Best

He is firmly on the side of game developers and views them as the ultimate god-like authority on everything whose will must never be questioned. He feels emotionally attached to dev team and often comments on their "hard work" and how sorry he is that people flame devs. To him all players who complain are just crybabies or ungrateful kids who don't appreciate the effort being made for them by the game companies. He regards the game as the sole property of devs and players should be grateful that game makers allow them to play their game.

Give It Time

No matter what the complaint is, he always responds with "give it time." Even if people are dying in droves to unfair players, according to this poster all players have to do is to give it time and everything will be hunky-dorky. Due to the nature of MMORPGs, over the long run this poster is often proven right as most players will likely prove to be sufficiently addicted to the game to continue playing so eventually even the worst controversies will blow over in time.

"A Kenyan man once said to me, 'You can get used to anything.' He used to stick mice up his ass for twenty bucks a time."

Wannabe Mods

These posters may be similar to the Daddy Knows Best variety but their motives are much less pure. Whether it is the official forums or a fan forum, they stick up for authority figures and are always anxious that all the rules are always followed to the letter. A common refrain of theirs is "mods should," for example "mods should lock this" or "mods should move this to rants." Another hallmark of the Wannabe Mods is their constant quoting and reminders to others of the rules.

Ranters Who Rant About Ranting

A special breed of poster who posts only because he wants people to shut up. He hates rants yet he reads them a lot and can't stay away from them so his constant pet peeve is "people who rant" even though his own posts are are as incoherent as the rants he professes to hate. Whether they realize it or not, these posters start an endless cycle of ranting. First there are ranters, then ranters who rant about ranters, then ranters who rant about those who rant about ranters, then ranters ranting about ranters who rant about those who rant about ranters, and so on. The cycle is endless and ridiculous in the extreme. They often have no sense of humor and answer seriously even the most ridiculous posts about rants because their posting time is completely taken up with ranters.

Best Update Ever

Much like stores in real life that seem to have the "best sale" or "lowest prices" every time they have a sale, for every update there are posters who love it so much they declare it the "best update ever." Whether they have been playing the game for 1 week, 1 month or 1 year, they confidently proclaim the update to be the "best ever" and thank the game developers for their genius update. Sometimes they painstakingly list each and every positive point of an update, no matter how small it is, just to emphasize why this one is the "best update ever."

The Perennial Kisser of Behinds/Bootlicker

One of the most common of posters, this one just wants to suck up to mods and game developers so he can score brownie points. Privately he may have his doubts but publicly he always makes it a point to stand up and be counted as a supporter of each update and, by extension, game developers. He likes to refer to people by their first names or nicknames even if these people have never spoken to him personally. In his mind, he views complainers as fools because complainers never get anything. He regards himself as smart because he knows game developers have the only real power in the MMORPG so he is always on the winning side.

Bow Down to Him, for He is the Great One

If a pmod, mod or game developer should post, this poster goes into raptures over him. Ecstatically going along with whatever mods or devs say, this poster's goal is to make friends or have a connection with his idols. Squeeling "omg you posted, you posted, I love you so much and this game, thank you!" like a star-struck fan, this poster only wants to love and be loved in return.

Me, Myself and I

This poster feels it is important to post that since the update or controversy doesn't involve him, he doesn't care about it. 99% of players might be affected but he wants people to know that he isn't directly troubled by it therefore it's great to be him. He admits that it might suck for other players but as long as his own playing style is untouched he is happy.

Substitute Posters

Has your training area been completely ruined by an update? There are other places. Is your character now obsolete? There are other types of characters. Are your skills now unprofitable? There are other skills. This poster has the answer to everything because to him each aspect of the game can be easily replaced by another aspect. He is the type of player who enjoys doing everything so he simply cannot understand why people whine when their favorite things are taken away. After all, there is always something else to do.

Let's See YOU Make One

This poster thinks every complaint is invalid because they were not made by a game developer. His motto is "if you can't make a better game then shut up." He likes to ask other posters if they think they can do better than challenges them to develop their own game. He doesn't even care about what the other poster's complaint is, he just thinks all complaints by non-game devs are inherently invalid.

Marquis de Sade's Brother

To the sadistic poster, human suffering is sweeter than mother's milk. The more people complain and whine, the better he likes it. Common examples of posts are titled "LMFAO, Pkers owned by update" or "Don't you just love it when nerds cry?" These posters thrive on pain and chaos. He loved riots and posts on quitting posts by saying "goodbye and good riddance." Sarcasm is his favored tool and harsh posts by other people delight him. He is the the player hater of MMORPGs. He may hate merchants, skillers, duellers, pkers, boss teams, veterans, wealthy or any other type of player, but one thing is for sure, he hates them with a vitriolic vigor. Frequently he hates them because he has had bad experiences with these types of player before or perhaps he just envies them.

Runescape rare items (partyhats, santas, masks, easter eggs and pumpkins)

To a new player, bewildered by the astronomical prices of holiday items from Runescape Classic (also known as Rs1, or the first version of Rs), rares can be a mind-boggling phenomenon. Why is a colored party hat with no equipment stats or any actualk benefits cost hundreds of millions of gold pieces? One word: rarity. Such items, though useless, are the rarest items in Rs so they are worth that much to players.

Allow me then, an older player who was actually there when these rares were dropped explain a bit on how we used to look at these items.

In 2001, two holiday items were introduced, pumpkins during Halloween and crackers at Christmas. Pumpkins can be eaten and traded. At that time, very few got pumpkins as it was thr first holiday item. During Christmas however, people were already somewhat expecting a Christmas item and many were dropped throughout the day.

A rainbow system message would flash on the screen saying "Merry Christmas" and then crackers would appear on the ground. Players would then race each other to get the items. This was just a funny game and no one got upset. Those who got none could easily buy or ask friends for the crackers as no one put much importance on them. They were just a fun item. Crackers are meant to be used on another person and the two people recieve random prizes which always includes one party hat of a random color. For example, I pulled a cracker on Who Da Best. He got 10 iron ore certificates and I got a white party hat.

Some people did not bother to get any party hats or crackers. Some bought theirs. Some sold them. Some dropped their items on the ground. Some sold theirs to the general store. Many ate the edible items (easter eggs and pumpkins). A few kept the items.

In my pics website, a top player wearing a white party hat while pking in the wilderness. At the time this was considered cheap as party hats were worthless. One of my friends used to pk wearing a party hat then drop it for space whenever he got a kill. Another friend was scammed for 500k gp because he didn't know what a pumpkin was, he thought it was rare. Ironically, it has become rare now and it is worth more than 1 mil.

Now as to myself personally, I kept some of the rares, especially the wearable ones like party hats, santa hats and masks. Many people dropped their holiday items because of the very limited bank space but I had an advantage as a pure since I did not need bank space for skills. I just liked the look of party hats so I used them for events such as weddings and level up parties.

Basically, what I am saying is that the early holiday items were fun. We liked them a lot. However, they were hardly important or rare at that time.